"Ok, It's not a big deal" I said to myself. "I can do this. I can use a pay phone today. Shit, I only have 1 quarter. Is that even enough these days? I haven't used a pay phone in years. It's probably like $.50! WHY DID I HAVE TO LEAVE MY CELL PHONE AT HOME!"
I had to keep giving myself a pep talk. "Ok, I don't need to worry about it now. I have errands to run. Let's do those first and then worry about what to do later. I can enjoy this day of being unreachable. I'm free!"
I would like to say that I felt entirely free of my phone. I wasn't. I had this small pit in my stomach all afternoon. Sad, right?!
I made one phone call with my one quarter. Pay phones are still $.25! Amazing. With the price of postage soaring up and the cost of using an ATM...I thought Alexander Graham Bell would jump on the band wagon.
I called Jay. The connection was fuzzy, but I felt better knowing that I had reached someone! I wish I was exaggerating, but I am not. The first thing he said to me was..."Where are you calling from." My response was "A PAY PHONE! Can you believe it?!?!?" I asked him to text Crista to give her a heads up. At that point Ms. Recorded Operator came on to say, "Please deposit another quarter for 4 minutes."
"Oh My GOD!" my brain screamed. I don't have any more. I start yelling into the phone, "Jay, can you hear me??? Can you hear me???" Ms. Recorded Operator is still demanding another quarter. I hear Jay in the back ground saying, "I can hear you." I tell him I love him and I will see him when I get home. We lose connection.
How did I do this before? In 1999 I did not have a cell phone. How did I survive? How did I meet people during the day? How did I find people I lost in the store? How did I make last minute plans to have tea with a friend when I found myself in their neighborhood? HOW DID I KNOW WHAT TIME IT WAS? It all perplexes me.
Through out my travels today I had to ask people what time it was. I was meeting some friends at 2:30 and wasn't wearing a watch. Over a period of 3 hours I asked 5 people what time it was. 3 of those people looked at their cell phones to tell me the time.
I found myself twice waiting in line and went to reach for my cell phone to make "use" of the "free" time I had. I truly am plugged in and tuned out. I am out of touch with my self. How did I become this person that needs internet on my cell phone? When did I become the person that needs to text someone immediately? Everywhere I walk I see people plugged in to their phones, their ipods, their pda's, their iphones. That is me. Very rarely do I ride the subway without listening to music AND reading at the same time. Heaven forbid I just sit on the train listening and watching what is going on around me. Heaven forbid I listen to my own thoughts...
So, the good news. I survived without connection for 6 hours today. I used a pay phone. I talked to 5 strangers. I used my friends phone to call Crista. I listened to my own thoughts and it was all ok. I'm sad to say it was uncomfortable, but for the first time in a long time, I was actually awake and aware every place I stood.
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