Rats

I get to order supplies for a corporate company.  Now, being the supply kleptomaniac that I am, this is a treat.  Paging thru catalogues and surfing the employee site feeds every bit of shop-aholic inside of me.  I get the power to decide what pens you use and if you get to write on college ruled paper or grade-school "I'm learning how to write the alphabet" ruled paper.   I get to decided if I want to have plastic covered paperclips, which are very girlie, or the sterile metal clips, which come in two options...smooth or rippled for better gripping.  I am prone to get the girlie ones just for spite.  I get the executive decision of picking out staplers, tape dispensers, pens, pencils, scissors, letter openers, rulers, notebooks, highlighters...the list goes on.  I also get to buy the organization tools to make the supply closet pristine.  If only I had a corporate account at "The Container Store" the office supply closet would far surpass my closet at home.  In fact, it already does surpass my home because the items I purchase are "free".  There is no need to enter the $800.00 bill into my spreadsheet at home...or at least conveniently place the receipt on the pile of disorganized papers on my desk at home waiting to be entered into my spreadsheet.  

There is always a small thrill placing that order...and excitement that rips thru my body knowing that very soon pastel colored post it's will be sitting on my desk waiting to be used. 

The downside of my pristine supply closet are the rats that invade it.  The rats that invade my work of art are the mature corporate geniuses that work for my corporate company.  They are geniuses to me because they work in Technology.  That is a word that doesn't sit will with me...Technology...it's all so matter of fact, such a science, such a garbly gook language, that only a mind resembling a vortex could operate within Technology.

These genius rats invade my closet with no respect for the art of organization, the art of the order, or the art of genius it takes to order just the right pen or just the right ergonomically fit stapler.  They tear thru the plastic coverings on the post-it notes only to leave behind the garbage like a overused tissue.  They empty boxes of pens only to leave the torn up boxes cluttering the shelves.  I guess since rats don't have opposable thumbs they are unable to open the boxes that hold the pens like a considerate human.  No, they need to shred the box into smaller pieces to grab the pen in their mouth and scurry out of the room before anyone shines a light on them.  

Which brings me to another thing...where is the rats nest that holds all the supplies?  Without a doubt I will proudly carry the shiny new supplies to the supply closet and put everything away with great care and thought, only to return 3 days later to find only crumbs  and droppings left.   Where have they gone?  Where is the King Rat and why is he demanding that the closet be emptied as soon as it is full?  How does he know that it is full?  Damn him, and damn his followers...they love stealing everything and leaving a mess in their wake only to have this college graduate clean up their mess and start the process all over again.  

I am convinced that this huge corporate company has rats.  I base my conclusion on that no human being I know would ever make such a mess at such an upstanding company and expect another person to clean it up.  Everyone here is respectable and kind and wouldn't scurry to a dark corner once a light hits  their beady little eyes...